I have nearly forgotten I even have this site. Honestly I’m not sure what to do with it. I hesitate to move my blog permanently here, since it seems much easier to connect with other people on the WordPress.com site, Filling Spaces. And yet… and yet. I want to have my own author site, it seems to be important. Now that I have the domain registered I fear giving it up and losing it to some unscrupulous person who buys it and later when I do want it, tries to sell it back to me for some exorbitant price.

But of course, who would do that? (insert tongue firmly in cheek)

So if you happen by, please leave a comment and let me know how you found the site. I am a writer when I can be, and my current works-in-progress are about vampires, fallen angels, something akin to demons, witches, humans involved in that stew, and the foibles and follies of my dear flawed characters. I do love them so.

I’ll have to do better about posting here.

I found this on Mike Wells’ site, and since folks were having trouble getting it to work, thought I’d post it here and see what happens. Let me know if you have trouble getting the results to display.

I think the vampire novel is in need of a complete overhaul. Somehow I wandered WAY off track with it, and reading back over parts of it now as I continue with the revisions convinces me that huge chunks of it need to simply go away. I literally cringed at some sections. Those are gone. But the whole storyline seems to have been derailed from what I initially started with. Going off on a wrong track is one thing, this has deteriorated to the point that it’s run completely off the rails.

And this means going WAAAY back to the earliest chapters. One character needs extensive, immediate surgery if she’s going to survive at all. Ugh.

Now here’s the question: Am I just procrastinating about finishing this thing? Do I somewhere deep down inside not want to be done with it? Nah, no, this is really bad. It needs massive work. I may need to lean on my beta readers to have a look at the first couple of chapters and see if a different perspective can find the point where things started to veer. I’m starting to think this isn’t even about vampires, maybe that’s what’s wrong with the whole thing. It was fun, but is it really what I want to be talking about? I think so, it was just a fun thing I started, and it’s been a real learning experience for me so whatever happens I won’t consider the time wasted. I just need to have the strength and resolve to sit down and do the hard part, real rewriting.

Harry Connolly takes the romance out of being a writer:

I would just like to offer this thought, to those like myself struggling to be published:

‘There’s only one difference between published and unpublished writers and it is this – the first group see their work in print on the shelves of Waterstone’s or Tesco or online at Amazon; the second group are yet to have physical evidence of the hours, weeks, years spent fashioning words into their patterns. You are already a writer.’

Kate Mosse

I’m getting lazy, or something, about working on the revisions. I haven’t touched it for a couple of days now. I find the idea of plugging in the USB drive I keep it on, opening the menu, finding the file, clicking “open” and waiting for Word to open, then trying to scroll down to wherever I left off too annoying. What I want to do is work on a hard copy, paper and ink, but the idea of burning through all that paper and ink (upwards of 300 pages) seems wasteful. That’s how writers used to do, it was the only way to do it, but in this electronic age, supposedly paperless society it just seems wrong, but like e-books, I can’t seem to stand having it only electronically. I just can’t get used to reading so much on the computer. My green, eco-friendly side is at war with my neurotic, writer side.

‘Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.’

Mark Twain

I spend a great deal of time dissecting and shredding what I write if I don’t think it could actually happen in real life. But the reality is, life often doesn’t make sense. People do stupid things, irrational things, react illogically all the time. So why do we demand so much logic from fiction?

How often have you watched a tv show, or a movie, and groaned at something one of the characters did, thinking (or saying) “Oh come ON! Nobody would do that!”

Well, maybe they would. Yet when we encounter these incidents in fiction we often lose interest. It’s one thing if the author is purposely writing a character who parks in front of fire hydrants, or swallows their dental floss, but to have a character who doesn’t do the ‘right’ thing in every situation in a story is inexcusable. Sometimes people have a bad day, and they’d rather stay home and read a book than go to a big party (ok, maybe that’s not so much of a stretch for us writers. We can be a reclusive bunch). The only time you’re likely to see this in a fictional character is if the character is also some kind of social outcast, or unstable, unbalanced. These often descend into caricatures and stereotypes. The truth is, most people have aspects of all kinds of personality ‘types’ in them. Personally, I don’t hold with the whole Meyers-Briggs typecasting, anymore than I do the daily horoscopes in the paper. We all run the gamut of emotions, we have moments of brilliance and moments of utter foolishness, moments of bravery and shyness. People don’t always rise to the occasion, remember to put out the trash, use their best judgment.

I need to let my characters not listen to what they’re told, to go out at night when they should be home with the doors locked, have one too many drinks and wake up in a strange place. It won’t always make sense, but that’s the way it is.

And that’s the truth.

‘The books one reads in childhood, and perhaps most of all the bad and good bad books, create in one’s mind a sort of false map of the world, a series of fabulous countries into which one can retreat at odd moments throughout the rest of life, and which in some cases can even survive a visit to the real countries which they are supposed to represent.’

George Orwell

Chenrezig
In my admittedly limited travels around the world, I have found there is much truth in this, that the few countries I’ve visited have differed in some respects from the images I had built up in my mind of how they were, based on books I had read about them. But how could they not?

When we read about a place, we get only bits and pieces of what that place may be like: an exotic bazaar filled with the smells of pungent spices and cooking, merchants loudly hawking their wares, oppressive heat, streets filled with bike-taxis. But no matter how many details the writer gives us, it’s still only a small portion of what that place may be like in real life, for the people who actually live there, day in and day out. Vacations tell only part of the story, and how can they not? You can’t really know a place in a quick two-week visit. Most vacationers see only the best parts of any place they stay, but for people who live and work there, who deal with the politics, the job market, housing prices, lack of social mobility, isolation, walking past the same weed-choked lots every day on their way to work, they probably wonder why anyone would pay to come and vacation in their town. I know I’m always surprised to hear people actually plan vacations to my city. I think, of all the wonderful, unusual, exciting places in the world, why would anyone come here for a vacation? I’d probably think the same thing if I lived in Manhattan (ok, maybe not Manhattan).

To live and exist in a place makes it look very different from someone who only comes for a short stay and spends the time doing the things most natives never get around to doing. Maybe it is a different place. I’ve never set foot on any local golf course, but we have a couple of world-class courses here that people actually deliberately travel here to play. I find that strange, but I know that to anyone not familiar with this area it could very well seem exotic to them. What is mundane to me could be remarkable in someone else’s eyes. Some of the books I read as a child (and even as an adult) are more real to me than some of the places I’ve actually been to, especially the ones I’ve read multiple times.

One of the stories I’m working on, which began life as a NaNoWriMo novel, is set in a location that is only partially known to me. I know the present day area, but I’m setting it in the past, and so much research and imagination is coming into play. The past is as exotic to me as an Indian bazaar. In the end, I want people to think they could still travel there, walk those streets, and look at the houses, and say, “Oh that must be her house!” Can I pull it off? Time will tell.

I think I’ve hit the point in my vampire story where I want to bring it to a close. I could easily drag this on, take it off in other directions, but at this point I’m not sure that’s the best course of action. I have other characters that I’d like to introduce, more plot elements, but in the back of my mind something is screaming “STOP!” I have this suspicion that going on and introducing more new stuff is the wrong idea, that it’s going to end up a little too sprawling, disjointed, and devolve into incoherence. Ok, maybe that’s a tad melodramatic, but I’ve got this sense of enough now, and adding more will seem like aimless meandering. Perhaps a sequel, a whole separate book focusing more on these other characters and situations would work, rather than abandon them entirely. I think they will haunt me if I try, and I’ve got enough going on in the haunting department as it is these days.

As usual one thing spurring the decision to break off is more music. I have discovered more new (to me) bands, and when a song hits me, I get whole plotlines spreading out and unfolding in my head. If I follow these threads I can see it turning into way too much for one book, especially a first book. So now I have to fall back and regroup, and somehow find a good conclusion. This will probably mean a substantial rewrite, but that’s good. Some of this wandering around feels like a lack of focus anyway, like I’m dragging it on because I can’t figure out how to end it. Not a good way to go about things. I guess that means it’s crunch time; time to pull it together and either get it lined up for a sequel or end it completely.

Somehow I’ve now managed to involve myself in a fourth blog, which is probably not a good idea since I’ve rarely been updating my existing three as it is. However, the fourth is a collaborative blog that was started as a lark with two others just for some fun, comedic writing.

It all started when one of the visitors to my other writing blog said he’d be willing to read my vampire story, as long as there were no “sparkling douchebags” in it. And one thing lead to another and before long we had a little round-robin story started about a glam-punk band known as the Sparkling Douchebags who sing about vampires and wanting to be one. So now we’re all pitching in and creating backstory and character bios, and writing the scenes. I’ve never been involved in a collaborative project like this, so even though I’m the blog administrator I am hesitant to seem like I’m running the show. After all, the story wasn’t my idea to begin with. This has been a learning experience already in how to set up such a blog and have multiple authors, and since it’s all in fun I have to remind myself not to take it too seriously.

I just wonder if I’ve bitten off more than I can chew with everything else I’ve got going on. Then again, there’s no rush to write the story of the Sparkling Douchebags so I probably shouldn’t stress about it anyway. It’s been good for a laugh, and I’d like it to stay that way.

If you’d like to watch the story unfold (albeit, it’s likely to be a slow unfolding) it’s all over at Murder in the Mosh Pit.

On top of four blogs, I’m still working on the vampire novel. So, we’ll see if I have more on my plate than I can manage.